I’m sitting at Angel’s Japanese Restaurant at 2pm having beef udon (soup with noodles). I just left Laura at Father’s house and was on my way to see Lou about the two guns. I got a rattle in my gut. I called Lou – he’s not ready yet – still babysitting his grandkids. So, lunch at Angel’s.
I thought I’d fixed Father’s computer. Laura said something was wrong. I put on a couple dozen Windows Updates; no, apparently still doesn’t work. Laura called me. I’ll go back after lunch.
I get the impression he doesn’t much care about being angry at me anymore. I’m hoping that’s the case and told Laura as much. She said she’d work on him. She’s good at that – leading him to think one way rather than a different way. I’m counting on that because in Father’s state his mind is not good and he dwells on things too much, concentrates on certain things.
No, I’m not trying to take his house. How could I? Logistically, legally, and certainly physically not possible.
No, I’m not trying to put him in a home. What I told him last time I was down was that I wanted a frank, honest, real conversation without things like, “No f***ing way you’re putting me in no f$$$ing home! Enough of that. Just talk with me.” So he did. I told him that if he sold his house he’d have enough money to pay the $2000 a month or so fees. He’d not be “so doggone lonesome” as he put earlier. He’d meet new old folks, have a bunch of old farts to play cards or pool with, eat with someone (promoting him to actually eat a decent amount).
If I were trying to take his home, why would I suggest something that would reduce his money? That doesn’t make any sense. I just wanted him to tell me why it was a bad idea. He finally did. He said he didn’t want someone else to have their thumb over him – someone else in charge of his life. Okay, finally I get an answer. I can respect that.
But later he thinks that I’m trying to put him in a home. No, you old fart, I was just expecting a real conversation about it, not a knee-jerk old-folks’ reaction.
In actually fact, most seniors (with the exception perhaps of Ivor) are happier when they enter a seniors’ home.
He thinks I’m trying to change his will. He thinks Aizlynn and I actually changed it. … Uh – reality check here – how could we change his will? Only with Power of Attorney could we do that, which we don’t, didn’t, and won’t have.
Laura stated in the truck that he thinks we (Aizlynn and I) a) are trying to take his house, b) are trying to put him in a home, c) have changed his will, and who knows what else. <sigh> I told Laura I was tired of saying one thing and having someone think the exact opposite. I said this, and I meant this, not that. Just such a strange idea – why? F###! Get over yourself and your beliefs. I don’t give a rat’s ass about who gets the house. I just want him to be happy, comfortable, and as healthy as he can be in the remaining time he’s got left here – and to eventually die without hate in his heart. Enough of that. The world’s full of that. Let’s not have more of it.
I have a stomach ache. Not from the food. I had it as I sat down. Probably nerves.
Waiting for Lou to call. Also done my lunch. Very good. (See the picture.) Gotta go fix Laura’s computer again.